Tackling loneliness, one relationship at a time
Mdm Nora remembered the first time she knocked on doors as part of Project Neighbour Network (N2). Project N2 is an initiative started by Care Corner Seniors Services, where seniors themselves become volunteer befrienders to reach out to socially-isolated seniors living in the nearby HDB blocks — tackling the increasing instances of loneliness and mental distress amongst the elderly.
Tackling loneliness, one relationship at a time
Mdm Nora would remember one of her first rejections. When she knocked at the door at one of her assigned units, she could hear the faint rustling of someone coming up to the door. The peephole darkened. This was the closest Mdm Nora would get to the resident. Moments later, she heard the same footsteps shuffling away from the door.
Unfazed, Mdm Nora and her group of other N2 Rangers went on to the other units. These rangers would check in on the seniors’ wellbeing, ask how they were doing, and make physical observations of their home living environments.
Sometimes, the rangers would encounter residents with a tendency to hoard items. They would subtly encourage residents to clear their items by gently educating them about the dangers of hoarding. Thus, rather than being prescriptive about solutions, these volunteers hoped to raise the awareness of the elderly, and empower them to make their own decisions.
Speak to Mdm Nora, and you would quickly realise that she’s a woman on a mission.
Despite having stayed in the same block for the last 50 years, she still retains a high level of curiosity towards those living around her. She would often greet those she made eye contact with a gentle smile or a hello.
Come, I Belanja You
She recounted the time she saw a neighbour often walking around with a blank stare around the estate. Her neighbour would walk slowly, sit on the benches in the void deck, and then stare into space. Her sixth sense told her that the elderly lady was struggling, and Mdm Nora felt a desire to help. But she was not sure how to start. She often noticed her buying the same coffee in the morning, at similar times. One day, she plucked up the courage to stand in queue behind her, and say, “Aunty, tak payah. I belanja (Aunty, never mind. Let me treat you).”
That small act kickstarted a conversation around the aunty’s worries about her family. Mdm Nora listened, and helped her to feel better. Eventually, she encouraged her neighbour to come for Care Corner Active Aging Centre (AAC)’s daily activities to tackle her loneliness and depression.
To Mdm Nora, bringing people to the AAC is not part of fulfilling a KPI (key performance indicator), but rather, her effort to rekindle the kampung spirit in the community. For example, encouraging seniors to go to the AAC gives them a regular activity to look forward to. This helps them feel a deeper sense of meaning, purpose, and belonging.
The Care Corner AAC at Block 16 has been a noble effort to bring greater joy to the lives of residents. Another member, Mdm Quek, recalled that before she found the AAC, she sometimes had heated arguments with her husband, who had just suffered from a stroke.
The stroke had affected his speaking abilities and he was unable to communicate his needs and desires clearly. This sometimes resulted in tensions from both ends. Wanting a break from being a full-time caregiver, Mdm Quek found respite in the AAC. Simple activities such as arts and craft, talks, and conversations with the other seniors would keep her mind away from her worries.
She has seen the value of what the AAC does in building a place where the elderly can enjoy their twilight years.
For many of these elderly, staying at home all day can be stifling and boring. Yet there are few places to meaningfully spend their time without incurring extra costs. Libraries are one such place, and of course, AACs.
A Great, Good Place
In other words, the AAC has become a safe ‘third place’ for the elderly to gather. In his 1989 book ‘A Great Good Place’, sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term ‘third place’ as “a generic designation for a great variety of public places that host the regular, voluntary, informal, and happily anticipated gatherings of individuals beyond the realms of home and work”. He had noticed that these were the places that tended to be the centres of community life, such as your local community club, the library, or even a cafe.
With a place like the AAC now, the elderly no longer need to worry about not having a place to rest, relax, and enjoy themselves. Instead, they can come together, from Monday to Saturday, laugh with friends, and enjoy the occasional board game, talk, and outing.
All that door knocking may have been hard, but it’s resulted in more open doors, and more importantly, a more connected community.
Whether you would like to volunteer, make new friends, or encourage your parents to join in the fun at Active Ageing Centres, simply drop by any Care Corner Active Ageing Centre in our GRC.
Marsiling: Marsiling Lane Block 16, from Mondays to Fridays, 10am to 3pm.
Woodgrove: Block 569A Champions Way, from Mondays to Fridays, 9am to 6pm.